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Submitted on
December 21, 2012
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Cold Outside  

     *';:._.:;'*';:._.:;'*
(For this fic, you use a fake man's name. Don't worry, it's fluffy with slight American Crack!)
     *';:._.:;'*';:._.:;'*
Ivan's POV

It's the middle of World War III, and I'm sitting in a trench with a rather unusual man named _____, he's fairly shorter than the rest of the men, and despite his soldier like build, he has a rather slender neck in which he hid with a military green scarf. People had suspicions that he was a woman, but _____ shot back with insults and threats that made me smile.

My radio began to sputter, and a rushed voice told us it was our turn to walk the perimeter.

      *';:._.:;'*';:._.:;'*

 Not too long after we began walking, I realized I had forgotten my flask. I didn't want to be rude to my new comrade, so I just said: "_____, I have forgotten something in our trench. Keep going, I'll be back."
 
     He huffed a bit, his breath visibly swirling in the cold air, "Davai, Braginski. I don't like to be in the snow alone." He peered out from his scarf.
 
   "Don't worry! We're Russian, we know everything about snow!" I laughed.

     He shifted the gun on his back and took a swig from his flask, "Davai."

       *';:._.:;'*YOU*';:._.:;'*

Braginski is taking forever! You thought sourly. Sure, it had only been 5 minutes, but someone could see a lonely soldier, and kill them right then and there. Dying isn't on my to do list... not today.

    A rustle emitted from a  bush nearby. a small clunk of metal on ground seemed to be the case.
You kicked the bush in which you hear the Rustling, you couldn't see through it, it's vines were woven tightly together, like a above ground burrow.

   The most random thing happened,an American soldier spoke rushed and not to mention  English, words, so you couldn't catch any of it, then pounced on you. As your loaded gun hit the ground, it fired a shot, hopefully it signaled Ivan.
   
    How the heck did his happen? I hope Ivan comes back... You thought desperately as you wrestled the man.

       *';:._.:;'*Alfred*';:._.:;'*

     I was hiding in a bush close to the Russian's trenches, and I'm really surprised I haven't been caught yet! Two Russian perimeter guards were heading my way, though. One was extremely scary and tall, while the other was short and....Feminine?

    Huh, a feminine Russian was hard to come by!*

   The taller one stopped the other, spoke, laughed, then ran back, pretty fast for the snowy terrain, if you ask me. The shorter one merely huffed and kept walking while taking a drink.

   Right as he was within ear-shot, my loose helmet decided to slide off my head, and I prayed he didn't hear or see me, but of course, he did, and kicked my bush.
         
          PANIC!

I dropped my useless weapon (the barrel was dented, and my rounds wouldn't go through.) and said the first thing to come to mind.
"OHMYGOSHDUDEPLEASEDON'TKILLMEI'MTOOBEAUTIFULTODIE!"
and tackled him to the ground.
The mosin he carried fired a round, and I hoped once again that no one would see this.

   Wait... Men with such small facial features shouldn't have perky man-boobs....

            *';:._.:;'*Ivan*';:._.:;'*

   Trudging back to where _____ was.
I heard a loud bang of a mosin in the general area I left _____. Worry washed over me and I picked up my pace even more (if it was possible), making sure to load my rifle, and strapped the radio onto my back as I arrived on scene.

   I found _____ on the ground, a strange American sat on him, pulling at his scarf and coat. The great man ____ was putting up a pretty good fight too, but the American had a lot of weight on him, and restricted his movements easily.

   I walked quietly behind the foreigner in front of me and smiled at _____ as I knocked the careless man unconscious.

   "Privet, _____. What was he trying to do to you? The look on your face was so funny!" I smiled at him.

   ____ looked up at me with a serious look in his eyes. I also found them very striking, and woman-like. "Braginski, can you keep a secret?"

    I could only smile at the silly question. " Da! of course, but only if you call me Ivan."
          *';:._.:;'*YOU*';:._.:;'*

  Honestly, Ivan's reply was rather cute, but could you really trust him to keep the fact that you were a woman secret? Maybe it was safe if someone knew.... but he could get you kicked out of the Military! You worked so hard to get where you were.

A little back up may help....

You sighed once more. "The American was trying to feel my breasts. When he jumped on me, he could feel that i was a woman."

  Not going to lie, you were extremely embarrassed by telling a man you barely know about your breasts, but he also seemed a bit uncomfortable. You looked away shyly.

"American sveenya...." Ivan mumbled. "Da, I'll help you keep your secret. But you have to tell me your real name."

     You had a wide grin on your face as he accepted. Now you looked into his eyes and thought about how great it was to have such a strong ally and friend to defend your identity. For once, this cold war didn't seem so cold.
so this is my first POSTED reader insert.
do you like my style?
I'm not much for the "I barely know you, but I love you, let my hold your boobies" kind of writer.... i hate those kinds of fics... eugh...
ahem... okay :iconawwwplz:

I'm not too proud of this one. In fact, I've got better ones I want to post, but this is just a test to see if anyone likes my writing... hmm... So enjoy some Russian lovin' and comment!
~~~~~~
*- sorry Russian ladies, America is just being rude Q.Q im sorry, I know a Russian girl and she's super pretty!
~~~~~~
This isn't meant to be accurate, I'm more for 7 years war in America type of historian... so I hope this weapon choice isn't too bad...

and a mosin is a Russian Rifle, I happen to own a few... Russians may be running out of ideas if they still use mosins by WWIII
~~~~~~
I dont own You or Russia, but Russia owns you! :iconsexyrussiaplz: :heart:

~EDIT~
I feel the need to hug you all! the faves and critiques really help! I changed it from Cold War to WWIII because of my huge history failure (like I said, French and Indian/7yr war historian, not 1900's war historian)

I love you guys! I think I might open for requests, but I will decline lemons :kitty:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlittlemisspagan:
Littlemisspagan Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014
Wow, that was... amazing... could you perhaps do a sequel?
Reply
:iconoxredxpandaxo:
OxRedxPandaxO Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
well i made this a while ago and now my writing style has changes drastically, but i could try.

do you happen to have an idea of what you want to happen?
Reply
:iconlittlemisspagan:
Littlemisspagan Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
Perhaps a while later there is more romance? I honestly don't know... I'm only good at coming up with ideas on loads of caffeine.
Reply
:iconoxredxpandaxo:
OxRedxPandaxO Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
fair enough :) 
i'll think about it. i haven't updated this account in months
Reply
:iconlittlemisspagan:
Littlemisspagan Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014
^J^ Okay.
Reply
:iconshigurefan101:
shigurefan101 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014
I like it da!
Reply
:iconoxredxpandaxo:
OxRedxPandaxO Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank yooou!
Reply
:iconlivelovepeace2:
livelovepeace2 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013
Uhmm... could you make a second to this story? Please?
Reply
:iconoxredxpandaxo:
OxRedxPandaxO Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
as a sequel to this or just in general?
Reply
:iconlili39:
Lili39 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013
WWIII Must be that Italy opened his eyes again .....
Reply
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